Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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