dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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