No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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