That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
