I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
