I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
