kristin has been a bad kristin
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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