I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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