you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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