i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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