but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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