Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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