I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
