My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
