I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
