I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
