dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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