I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
