since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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