FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
