She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
