I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
