Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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