idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
