I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
