oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
