You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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