So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
