So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
