Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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