I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
