its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
