I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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