come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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