I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
