Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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