I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How external is "for external use only"?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
