Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
