I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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