I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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