I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
