have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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