Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Randomize
