so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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