so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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