Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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