i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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