Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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