I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
