But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
