This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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