I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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