tell your sister to shave her snatch
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
